


Rotten Sun

by BTK



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Letter, Secrets, Struggle, Vampire AU, father - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BTK/pseuds/BTK
Summary: Wen Junhui is a vampire who is constantly struggling in his journey of finding a place to which he can belong. It is, however, a very hard task as he feels like a stranger, a stranger even to his own family which has a history of its own. His childhood is rather a dark memory that hunts him even in present. He grew up without his mother who was dear to him, and his father was never by his side, always busy with his own business.Suffocated by a variety of feelings, Jun decides to write a letter addressed to his father, in which he would say all the words he is too afraid to utter in front of him, hoping it will calm his state of mind.





	Rotten Sun

Dear Father,  
How have you been these days? I heard that you've gone aboard in order to solve some business issues there. I know that you’re a pretty active man, someone who cannot stay in one place for too long, and that this journey was a pleasure to you.  
Your wife called me a few days ago. As always, she was trying to find all kind of excuses in order to make me talk to her. This time she wanted me to help her in the garden, in hope that I would open up a little to her. It was, however, a failure as always. That did not discourage her, and I wonder when she will give up. Until then, no matter how annoying it gets, I will just put up with her silly ideas only because she is a kind and caring woman. As you may have figured, she was the one who told me about your traveling plans. I was drinking tea with her, in the freshly mewed garden, when I saw concern floating in her eyes. So, of course, I asked her what was wrong. She knows you too well, she is aware of how much you like to involve yourself in all kinds of situations or professional relationships, but she could not help but wonder how much you will last like this. We must face reality; you are no longer young. You may still look like how you did a few years ago, your dark aura and your impressive height, which still towers over others, still makes you a scary person who intimidates people easily, but you can’t fool your family. However, you are a stubborn man. I just hope you will stay healthy and let your wife take good care of you.  
To be honest, I don’t even know why I am writing this. I know it too well, I don’t have enough courage to give this letter to you, not even indirectly. Later, I will probably put it in a forgotten drawer, not having the guts to open it ever again, or I will just burn this piece of paper…seems like this is the best solution. Even so, I can’t stop my hands from moving.  
Our relationship was always very fragile. Do you sometimes think about our lives when mom was by our side? I do. I remember her sweet smile and her soft voice which put me to bed as she read a different fairytale every night. I can’t believe that kind angel from my memories transformed into such a selfish monster. You were not the best father even then. You were always locked in your office, and when you finally got out, you were always frowning and arguing with her. But it was not so bad. It got worse when she left us. In your eyes I was probably just a responsibility she left behind. You had to take care of me, it didn’t matter if you wanted it or not, you accept it. But if I knew it would turn out like this, I would have liked it more if you just walked away from this mess. Your cold attitude towards me was worse than a torture. My childhood is marked by lonely nights and a constant feeling of guilt because you acted like you didn’t want me.  
As I grew up, I started hating you, no, detesting is a much better word in this context. I couldn’t stand your cruel self, and one day I just decided I wanted to take my revenge, being lucky that I knew what hurt you the most. In front of people you were always the perfect, respectful man, so I decided that I would spoil your name, that I will bring shame to this awful “family”. I was a teenager at that time and, of course, naïve. My plan was perfect in my mind so I tried putting it in action. That is the moment when my life changed completely, when I ventured into a completely new world, but I can never tell you, or anyone else, about this. I will take it with me in grave, my little secret. My life was somehow stable after I met a few people, and ,for a short period of time, I forgot about my plans as I was just trying to live for my own desires and pleasure.  
I don’t remember exactly when, but at some point you met a new woman. It didn’t look too serious so I just brushed it away, but I was wrong. One day, you came back home with your new lover and her son. You introduced us to each other and we dinned together. As I sat at the table, I couldn’t recognize the man who was laughing and seemed so carefree. That made me feel like I didn’t belong there…you were moving on with your new family while I was stuck in the same place. I didn’t want to get too friendly with them, they were strangers, trying to forcefully come into my life and steal everything I had. At least this was what I felt. And in that moment I remembered how much I hated you, the previous plans coming back into my mind.  
And I did it. That night is still fresh into my mind, the night when that accident happened and you were obligated to come and save me from the mess. I never did this, but I feel like I should thank you for that. If it wasn’t you, I don’t know where I would be now. You used all your relationships in order to get me free. However, not what happened then remained in my mind, but how small I felt while facing you back as you were looking out the window at the joyful sparkling city which was in contrast with the tense atmosphere inside your office. The room felt so cold and empty, silence was the one ruling over it as no one dared to say anything, both of us lost in our thoughts. The one who broke it was no one but you, and your words still ring sometimes in my mind “what do you really want, Junhui?”. I immediately opened my mouth, I wanted to spit all the venom I bottled inside of me at you, but my mind was blank, making my mouth close again. What did I want? Of course, I wanted to make you suffer ….but was it really what I thought? I’ll be honest, I did not like the hurt look on your face, it did not fit your strong image, and those disappointed eyes with which you stared at me when we entered the house was something I couldn’t handle. After a long moment of silence, I finally opened my mouth again and said “I want to be independent.” It was the best solution. I wanted to get away from you, and build a wall between me and your new family. I felt ashamed of myself and I wanted to put an end to it.  
It was the best decision, indeed. Now, when I look back…it was a strange day. When I finally moved in the new house, both of us looked like we were attending a funeral with our mournful expressions, and not even a spot of color on our clothes.  
I love this place! I can finally feel protected.  
The waters have calmed, but I don’t know what will happen in the future. I wish things would be different. What can we do now, though? I really wanted to have my family back when I was just a little boy, and sometimes I still do. There are so many things I hate about you! However, I can’t deny the fact that your blood is flowing through my veins, and we will always have this fragile bound between us. I thought it broke a long time ago, but as I turned into an adult…I really tried to understand you. A part of me forgave you because I saw how you changed after you met your wife, you even tried to get closer to me, but you did not know how and at that point I was already full of hate. Naturally, things did not work out. But here we are, I will not cry over spoiled milk.

Wishing you all the best,  
Your other son.


End file.
